What Would You Do For A Piece Of Bacon?
by Clumsy Girls Have All The Luck
Summary: THERE ARE ALMOST NO FULL HUMOR MR FICS, SO THIS IS MINE. FANG DOING A TOLTALLY OUTRAGOUS DRE AND OF CORSE THE QUESTION YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED ANSWERED: WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A PIECE OF BACON? JUST A FUNNY THREE SHOT!
1. Chapter 1

**I noticed how little humorous MR fics there were so I decided to write one myself. Hope you like it.**

**Disclimber: Do you really care that much?**

**Chapter One: Race**

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The flock was gliding lazily over New York City, it was almost night fall and Max was scanning the ground for somewhere to sleep. She spotted a under construction sky scraper, four miles away.

"Four miles northwest." Reported Max proudly. Everyone heard but didn't indacate so. Max glared at them. "You're all turning into Fang aren't you?" No one answered, not even the great Fang himself. "You're all pafetic.

Still no one listened. Iggy whispered something into Gazzy's ear, making him smile. The switched backpacks. Max was curious at the sudden exitement, but didn't bother asking. As long as it had nothing to do with her she didn't care. Max looked over at Angel who smiled too, in on the joke. Whatever it was...

"Hey Fang!" Cried Gazzy, "I'll race ya."

"No." He said boardly not even looking at him.

"Oh come on please, we can even use bets!"Gazzy begged.

If Fang's ears could have perked up they would of, god did he love betting. He smiled, arching his right wing he flew away from the flock. Gazzy followed, game time.

"Okay," Fang started, hovering. "You have to wear Angel's tutu for a whole day, the pink one." Gazzy only smiled not even thretened, but Fang didn't notice.

"And if I win you must makeout with the girl of my choosing." Fang's eyes widened a bit, but he reminded himself he was much faster then The Gasman.

"Deal." Said Fang, extending his hand Gazzy shock it roughly. Iggy flew next to them.

"You guys ready?" Iggy asked giddly.

They both nodded anxiously. "Okay good, the flock's already at camp and tell'll say who wins. So, on your marks," both checked they were in line with each other. "Get set," Gazzy and Fangs wing were almost to tense to flap. "GO!!!!!!!!!!"

Both were off, they stayed at the same pace slowly inching ahead and behind each other. Fang then shot ahead. Gazzy found this as the perfect time to put phase two into action.

Loud mancanical devices started shifting in Gazzy (well actually Iggy's) backpack. Two small engines pushed their way through large gashes at the bottom. And then the jetpack fliung The Gasman way ahead of Fang. Leaving him coughing on the blue smoke it left behind.

"CHEATER!" Screamed Fang.

"At least I'm a smart cheater!" Gazzy yelled over his shoulder smiling madly. Iggy was a genious, a blind mutant genious.

Gazzy won by along shot. Fang arrived five minutes later looking like well... like he's spent two minutes in a blue dye filled cloud. Which, in a way, he had.

Fang murmured agrily tohimself as the rest of the flock congradulated Gazzy.

"Fine." Fang huffed. "Congradulate the cheater, I for one have more important things to do." And walked away.

Max payed no attention at first but then she started hearing bizarre noices like, "Hum, all mighty one."

"Uh I'll be back in a second." I told the flock. What the hell was he doing?

I sprinted over to where Fang had gone, and found him bowing to a long rugged halk wing.

"Uhhhhhh..." Fang heard me and looked up immediotely.

"I-I can explain!" He cried franticly.

" I really don't want to know!" Max exclaimed**.

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Welp that's it there'll be two more chapter and I asume the story will be finished by friday. Now review, and make it manly. (lol.)**


	2. Fang's Date

**Sorry I've taken so long to update, I've had testing. Anyway I got a new laptop! So cool. Thank you all that reviewed YOU GUYS R AWESOME! Cyper cookies to you all.**

**Disclimber: Do I look like James Pattersom or someth'in?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Iggy, Gazzy, and Fang left to get breakfast early, while Nudge and Angel watched in amazement of how loudly Max was snoring. That ought to be a new record or som'thin. Fang wanted to go alone,but of corse Iggy and Gazzy insisted on going to go 'girl hunting.'

They kept pointing at random people threatening to make Fang kiss them. Some weren't even really girls. Creepy. "What about the bootylious one?" Gazzy asked Iggy, pointing at a middle aged man with a young child on his broad shoulders. Fang winced and walked faster, stumbling over a filthy looking homeless man.

"Uh... oops, sorry." He murmured, stuffing a dollar in their change can.

They both caught up with them. "Oh don't worry Fang." Said Iggy.

"We can do much worse." Asured Gazzy.

"Thanks." Murmured Fang starcastically. "I feel so much better now."

"Yourwelcome." They both said at once.

"Lets get food here." Fang reasoned.

"No there's a better plce thirty blocks down." Said Iggy.

Fang sighed in annoyance he followed them.

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**Back wih Max, Angel, & Nudge**

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Max choked on one final snore and woke with a fright.

"Darnit why did you stop! I board now."cried Nudge.

"Yeah." Screamed Angel.

"Uh, where are Fang and everyone?" Maxed murmured sleepily.

"Getting breakfest, and coffee-" Said Nudge. Max held up her finger and she stopped blabbing.

"Oh well when Fang lost the race he lost a bet to Gazzy. So he has to kiss a girl of Gazzy's choice." Angel explained.

"What! How do you know?!" Max cried.

"Hello, mind-reader!"

"Oh right." Said Max.

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**Back with Fang, Iggy, & Gazzy**

They had finally had made it to the caf'e and were waiting in the aubserdly long line. "Fang," Gazzy said in a clear voice. "we have disided."

Fang winced scared of who they had chosen.

"Her." Iggy pointed, Fang had no idea how he knew where the girl, maybe girl, was sitting.

Fang looked over slowly.There sat a slim young teen, with wavy dark yellow hair, wearing a casual black and red dress. The worst part was she was acually pretty!

Fang walked over to her nervously. "Can I buy you coffee?"

"allergic." She said not looking at him.

"Then why are you here then?"

"Meeting people, and soda." She murmured angryly. "Why do you care?!"

She looked at Fang and blinked. "Uh do you want to sit down?"

"well acually... just." He leanedand started kissing her passinately. Iggy and Gazzy hooted loudly.

Fang pulled back. "Uh... goodbye... well you didn't tell me your name. I'll just call you Blondie. Bye Blondie." Fang ran off Gazzy grabbed the foung and they both followed out.

Soththing grabbed the collar of Fang's leather jacket and he stumbled back.

"**YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO MISTER!" **Max screamed at Fang.

**Hope ya like it.- Edward13**


	3. What Would You Do For A Piece Of Bacon?

**_Yo. Sorry it's been a while... I have excuses on my bio page. Anyway this is the last chapter sad sniffle so enjoy, sorry this is short! _**

**_Oh and btw I put an MR pole on my bio so please do it!

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Fang rubbed his sore ear mindlessly shoveling eggs into his mouth, he watched Max stuff her face. He glanced down at the stirofoam box on the ground he froze. _One piece of bacon left._

Max extended her arm to grab it but got there at the exact same time as every other member of the flock (except Fang of course). She snarled furiously bot no one budged.

"Wait!" Fang cried right before everyone was about to start tearing eachother to bits.

They all stared at him, even Iggy it was sorta creepy. "what." They all said in eager unision.

"um well... why kill each other over it? I mean why not a good old fashioned compatision?" Fang flashed a rare mischvious smile.

"What kind of compatision?" Gazzy said impasently, no one was yet to move they're hand of the thick sliver of meat.

"Free fall." Fang said simplely, still smiling.

"Free fall that sound kinda like um how do I put this-" Fang put up his hand, she stopped... for once.

"Jump off the building who ever gets the closest to the ground without putting out their wings wins."Fang's slime deepened.

Max nodded pressing her lips together. "Sounds good. Everyone in?"

All nod, "Alright," Iggy said impassively. " but someone better tell me when I get to close to the bottom."

"Who says you're gonna win?" Gazzy hissed.

"Cuz I special." Iggy said snidely.

Fang puts up both hand to stop their bickering. "Oh and lastly, no jet packs." Both Iggy and Gazz cuss under they're breath Max gives them the evil eye.

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"Fang, aren't you gonna jump?" Angel asked poised at the top with the others.

"No, someone has to judge. Now on three. One... two... THREE!"

All jump but Nudge and Angel give up quickly too afraid to be smooshed on the concret.

"Ha ha it's only-" Chrashing noises as Gazzy smashes into a widow cleaning stall on the side of the building. "Owie." Comes meekly from him.

Iggy and Max narrow there eyes at each other. "Ha ha You're gonna l-" Before he could finish Max snapped out her wings inches above the ground as Iggy fall head first into a particuarly smelly dumpster. "Ewie!"

Max ignore him shooting back up to retrieve her prize. "Ha yes I w-"

"Oops." Fang whispered shoving the rest of the bacon into his mouth.

"You tricked me. I thought you said you didn't like bacon." Max snarled.

"No... all I said was who ever goes the closest to the ground wins, I didn't say what they win. Plus I love bacon. You don't even know that." Fang sighed. "I'm so misunderstood. "Now if you excuse me I have important bussiness to attend to." Fang mutted pulling a hawk feather out of his back pocket.

Max scratched her head man this had been a strange day.

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**_So sad it's over I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, but keep an eye out for other fics I'll be aroud..._**

**_Nightmare366- Because everyone loves a nightmare, and you know it._**


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